Asselamualikum wrt. wbt
I've been reading Charlotte Bronte's classic British novel "Jane Eyre" ( I like to feel classy from time to time ).
The first phrase of the novel was : There was no possibility of taking a walk that day.
I can't express how much I admire this phrase, the way it's written, so beautiful.
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I felt lonely. I wanted to go out for a walk. And so I did.
I wore my Brussels thing in maroon, wrapped a green scarf and of course my converse. I went out with my phone on my pocket, my headphones. Bought two biscuits and a gum. Started walking, the weather was very cool, a sun coming and going, some clouds and a very refreshing cold air that I felt on my face from time to time, it moved the beautiful trees.
I'm a courageous person I go out alone. I'm not afraid of anyone, but I try to keep my self safe. If someone looked at me I cross the street immediately to the other side, I try to walk beside families or women. If I'm followed by some people it's okey, but I can't be followed by one male. It's the sign of danger.
I took out my phone with me, I was planing on listening to music as I was walking but I didn't for two reasons, first I was afraid that I might be followed or someone might talk to me and I won't be able to hear him and anything can be caused by that, And second, I figured that it's kinda amusing to listen to the cars and tracks noise as I was walking beside the road. Whatever.
At some point and as I approached the fountain, small water drops started falling from the sky, it was about 18h30 and the sun was still in the sky. I actually hate rain and everybody who knows me knows that. To be honest, I kinda hoped it rained then. I wanted to get wet, but it didn't, as I crossed the street, the little drops stopped, it was all sunny again.
As I kept walking I couldn't help staring at people. Couples, families, teenagers...
I arrived to MacDonald's, my destination. I had already walked for more than half an hour.
Why MacDonald ? Just to remember my days of glory. When I was in Rabat, every time I finished a school task I used to go there to celebrate with my self. I always take the same order, the cheapest.
Took the order and set by the window, I always sit by the window, I like to watch people going and coming from the glass. In my city, The MacDonald's square is very known, it's actually the crossroad of the whole city. You can see all kind of people in there.
While I was eating, and as I was lost in my memories, I almost had tears in my eyes. Remembering the state of mind and soul in which I was the last time I ate this meal and the one in which I am now. I felt so hopeless and stupid. I felt lonely for a second.
I kept watching the cleaning boy, I don't know how to call him exactly. He waited for clients to finish their meals so that he can clean the tables, and then cleans the floor, checking the trash can, changing the plastic bag, cleaning the tables again. He didn't stop, and I didn't stop either from watching as I was finishing my french fries. He had a serious look on his face, the look of someone who's trying to do his thing in the very best way, knowing that he's not doing something that important.
I've never been to MacDonald in my city. Today was my first time.
As I walked out, I felt again the fresh cold wind on my face. I adore it.
I decided to take the bus on my way back, I was tired I couldn't go back home walking again, I had to walk a whole boulevard before I can find the bus station. It was ok, even if I was tired I wasn't ready to enter home yet anyway. As I was walking on the train station boulevard as we call it and shewing the gum, this time I was walking faster. Cafes were all along the street, I don't like to be watched while I'm passing by the people siting on this cafes tables, I was walking very quickly. As I was approaching the train station, it was very easy to recognize people coming from Rabat, the people who usually work there and live in Kénitra they are so many. Generally they are well dressed people.
I arrived to the bus station, it's been about two years since I took a bus in my city. I stood where people looked like they were waiting for the bus. five minutes after that, a couple of buses stopped and I didn't know which one I should take but all the people stepped on the first one, so I stepped on the second. Because I knew that the place where I live is the bus's final stop, and the people who stepped in the first didn't look like people from my neighborhood.
I stood in the bus near the window, there was empty chairs in the back. I never sit in the back.
I arrived home safely, no one was there, I remain silent for a while as I was in my balcony.
I felt hopeless and stupid. I felt lonely again.
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| My neighborhood + MacDonald s |
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| The train station boulevard + The buss |
My balcony, an amazing view on the 4th floor.
Be safe, try not to be lonely.
Be happy !
Selamualeikum wrt wbt.
